the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize