i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize