i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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