Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she peed on how many people?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
