dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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