he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
