Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my sisters under your porch take her home
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
