So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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