"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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