I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you had me at cake vodka
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
