I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
