she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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