There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize