The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
