Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
