i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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