dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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