absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
