You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
