he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
