I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
