I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
