I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I could fuck to npr.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
