i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I need to sanitize my soul.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
