i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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