Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
