She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
