Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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