like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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