Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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