Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
what day is it and did you see me today?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
