I skipped work to stalk him.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
