absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
