i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
