He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
