Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
