I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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