Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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