Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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