I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
There r osticjed everywhere
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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