dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
