Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
