Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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