community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize