ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
