Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
