Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
