Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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