After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
