Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
