And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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