You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
