I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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