just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
