Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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