Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
