we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
