is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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