I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
