this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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