If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
