Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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